Well, friends, the fidget spinner craze keeps on spinning. And as more and more of my pals, enemies, and acquaintances acquire these little gadgets, there’s a big question that I and perhaps only I want to answer.
What’s a good name for someone who uses a fidget spinner?
Okay, hear me out. Someone who yo-yos is called a yo-yoer, right? And, as Chance the Rapper tells us, someone who plays with a hacky sack is called a hacky sacker.
But this formula doesn’t quite work with fidget spinners. A fidget spinner-er? It just doesn’t roll off the tongue the way it should.
So here are some other (very, very serious) ideas.
Pros: Some people are already using this, I guess?
Cons: Already a word.
Pros: Not already a word. Does not yield even a single Google result.
Cons: Sounds like a terrifying inhalant.
Pros: It makes logical sense: people who spin fidget spinners are fidget spinner spinners, right? Spinners squared? Get it?
Cons: Deeply boring.
Pros: Turn to your left and say this to the first person you see: “I’m a spinnerooni!” Pretty fun.
Cons: You did not actually do the above, and neither will anyone else.
Pros: Could be a middle-of-the-road television show starring Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan.
Cons: This is a better name for a Kellyanne Conway-themed cabaret show than someone who uses a fidget spinner.
Pros: Always fun to spell “boi” with an I; am I right, boiz?
Cons: Not necessarily inclusive of non-male fidget spinner enthusiasts.
Pros: Fidget spinners are cool and so are the people who use them. This name pretty much says it all!
Cons: This is what they also used to call people who played Pokmon Go. 🙁
Please get back to me with your favorite. We simply must get this sorted out.