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Artist created vitiligo dolls and moves us a step towards representation for all

Toys are moving into the right direction with the expansion of products catered to represent all backgrounds and more creators are taking a step further in providing representation beyond race/ethnicity. 

Kay Black created a custom design boutique called Kay Customz and started creating custom-made dolls just eight months ago. Her newest creations feature dolls with the rare skin condition vitiligo. Vitiligo is a pigmentation disorder that whitens patches of skin around the body. 

“I wanted to create dolls that any and everyone can relate to. I see beauty in everyday life,” she told Mashable. “I wanted to convey the message that beauty should not be manufactured. Beauty should be based on one’s true self mirror image.”

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

Black is a nail technician and hair stylist, but always felt the creative side in her to pursue this found interest. She gets her inspiration from everyday people and develops different styles for each individual doll. “I love what I do and take pride in each custom design!” the artist stated on her website

The time it takes her to complete a doll can range from a few days to a week. She usually finds the dolls from thrift stores and yard sales. “I paint and customize them, not to take away from anyone else’s work. I simply use the old dolls as canvases,” she explained.

As a result of the success of her vitiligo dolls, the artist started creating dolls with facial features like freckles and individuals with albinism. She even expanded her collection to feature male dolls. 

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

Many people have praised her on social media, thanking her for being represented through her dolls. They’ve also caught the attention of actors Tia Mowry and Mike Epps. 

“When Mike Epps shares ur work I think it safe to say this doll went viral!!,” she captioned on Instagram

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

WHEN MIKE EPPS SHARES UR WORK I THINK IT SAFE TO SAY THIS DOLL WENT VIRAL!!😍🤗 #mikeepps @eppsie THANKS

A post shared by kays customz (@kaycustoms) on

While Black continues to expand and experiment with her doll collection, she has a future goal she hopes to achieve, “My goal is to go beyond the average assembly line looking doll. I want relatable, realistic dolls,” she explained to Mashable. “My goal is to have my own line of beautiful dolls one day.” 

Kay Black might be closer to her goal than she thinks. 

Every editorial product is independently selected by Mashable journalists. If you buy something featured, we may earn an affiliate commission which helps support our journalism.

Read more: http://mashable.com/2017/10/04/artist-creates-dolls-vitiligo-skin-condition/

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Evaporation Could Be The New Source Of Renewable Energy

A new form of renewable energy could be added to solar, wind, and hydro power. Better still, evaporation as an energy source should be more continuous than most other renewables. So far, the technology has only been demonstrated on a tiny scale, but a new study shows that, if it can be scaled up at a practical cost, it could provide two-thirds of the electricity used in the United States.

Changing liquids to gasses involves the absorption of energy. Water has an unusually high specific latent heat, meaning a high amount of energy required to cause a particular amount to change state. Consequently, it normally represents an energy sink, not a source.

Two years ago, however, Columbia biophysicist Dr Ozgur Sahin demonstrated what he calls the Evaporation Engine. The engine uses bacterial spores that swell when they absorb water. If the spores are attached on each side of a piece of tape with the lines offset, changes in humidity flex the tape, pulling on a piston or rotary engine.


The rotary version of the evaporative engine. Joe Turner Lin

Normally, it would take too long for the environment to change sufficiently for anything useful to come of this, but Sahin placed his tapes inside a container part filled with water. Some were attached to a shutter. When sunlight evaporated some of the water, the air became humid, stretching the tape and opening the shutter. Outside air caused the humidity to fall, which in turn contracted the tapes, closing the shutter. Even after some of the energy produced was used to control the shutters, enough was left to drive miniature cars or power a small light.

There’s probably a market for toys powered this way, but practical application is a different matter. At the time, Sahin and his team thought it might be useful for off-grid electricity production. Now, in Nature Communications Sahin has thought bigger. Much bigger. If the engines were placed on lakes and reservoirs across America, he calculates they could produce 15 Watts per square meter in the right circumstances, and 325 gigawatts nationally, even without tapping the Great Lakes. This equals 69 percent of the electricity America now consumes.

Covering vast areas of lakes with evaporation machines would be expensive, but there would be benefits as well. Somewhat ironically, the machines reduce the rate of evaporation, preserving fresh water in dry areas – exactly the places where the evaporation is fastest, and possibly help paying for the system.

Perhaps most importantly, although evaporation is powered by sunlight and wind, it doesn’t stop even on still nights, although it will slow down. Consequently, a grid powered by evaporation would need less battery storage than one depending on solar or wind.


Evaporation is far stronger in the south-west – exactly the area where the water the engine preserves would be most valuable. Columbia University

 

Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/technology/evaporation-could-be-the-new-source-of-renewable-energy/

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Why Old People Think Millennials Are Killing The World

I can’t take another article about millennials. Which is ironic, since the title of this article will likely have the word “millennials” in it. Since it’s sort of about … you know, millennials. I say “sort of” because I don’t think the tidal wave of “MILLENNIALS ARE KILLING ____” pieces are really about them. Not at their core.

When you really break them down, these articles are about my generation. And my parents’ generation. And every generation that has ever existed since the dawn of humans. Yes, they’re phrased as “Millennials are killing X industry, and that’s bad,” but what they’re really saying is, “The times, they are a-changin’, and that scares the shit out of me.” I don’t agree with those articles, because I think they’re impressively idiotic. But I think the key to battling moronicism is understanding what makes a moron moronic. I haven’t decided whether my own insight is fortunate or unfortunate, but …

This Generation Is Changing The World In A Way That I’m Not Prepared For, And Therefore It Must Be Stopped

Let’s say you live in some tribal culture a few thousand years before the first guy with a Christ complex comes along. Your basic priorities in life are to eat, fuck, sleep, repeat. But because Walmart hasn’t invented guns and smoker grills yet, most of your time is wrapped up in that whole “prevent death by shoving food in your suck-hole” hobby. During your midlife crisis at age 12, you realize, “Holy crap, I’m actually pretty good at this cooking thing. Life would be so much simpler if people just brought me dead things, and I made the meals for everyone.” It makes sense, right? That gives everyone else a couple more hours per day to sleep and/or fuck. In exchange, maybe they throw you an extra rat or something for your trouble. Boom, the first McDonald’s is born.

Within weeks, very few people in your tribe are making their own meals. Why would they? You have that shit covered. This upsets the 25-year-old elders, who spread warnings of impending disaster. “Ogg Brrrpth has destroyed the vital skill of cooking! What if he dies tomorrow? Who will then make our food?” This is a legitimate problem, but not an unsolvable one. You suggest training a couple of apprentices who can step in and take over when you inevitably get eaten by dragons. But the elders are still terrified. “It’s impossible! You have doomed us all,” they shout through mouthfuls of food that you prepared.

Flash-forward several thousand years, substitute “food” with “economy,” and you get a pretty good idea of how this cycle continues today. For instance, this article from Business Insider talks about how millennials are killing casual restaurants. It’s not preaching doom, but the argument it produces among readers is “What does this do to our economy?” I mean, TGI Fridays alone pulled in $1.57 billion in 2015. In 2013, they employed over 70,000 people. That’s a pretty big chunk of change. Take that away, and we’re losing a massive amount of income, spending, and taxes. But “Millennials are killing casual restaurants” does not mean “Millennials have stopped eating food.” They’re just doing it elsewhere. And spending a metric fuckload of money in the process.

My generation doesn’t see the growth because we’re distracted by watching the current crop of humans destroying the conveniences we built. We don’t see that it’s often in favor of another, way more convenient and profitable system. My parents thought computers were making kids dumber because for some reason words on physical paper … magically made people smart? My grandparents bemoaned fast food because it was destroying home cooking and family meals. Their parents were worried that cars made people lazy. And back in those tribal days, I guarantee there were a bunch of traditionalists complaining that “Kids these days have it way too easy. You can’t truly appreciate a meal unless you’ve felt the warm blood of a fresh kill on your hands.”

My generation created a ton of conveniences with the technology that was available, and we did it by deconstructing and remodeling the ones my parents created. We then got used to those conveniences and couldn’t imagine life without them. And now that we see them being deconstructed by our own kids, we have to adapt to the new stuff. And that’s as scary as a John Holmes anal scene.

And that means …

The Problems Millennials Are Dealing With For The First Time Are Problems We’re Dealing With For The First Time

This is going to sound like a really stupid statement, because it kind of is: Modern problems are modern. But it’s important in understanding why every headline about the current generation sounds like old people screaming “We’re all gonna fuckin’ die!” I’m going to give you a minor example of how this works.

In the late 1980s, my dad somehow found a way to splurge and buy us a Nintendo. I’m assuming he harvested and sold the kidneys of a drifter, because we could barely afford clothes at the time. We lost our shit when we opened that box on Christmas morning, and we couldn’t wait to hook it up and start smashing bricks and stomping turtles … and also play Super Mario Bros. We rushed back to the crappy black-and-white TV in our bedroom, and … spent the next hour trying to figure out why it wasn’t working.

See, the original Nintendo had an RF switch, which looked like this:

Via Museumofplay.org

It’s pretty simple by today’s standards, but remember, home entertainment was just becoming a thing back then. Very few people were versed in hooking up electronics. You had to figure out how to run the cable through the switch, then run the switch through the VCR, which then went into the back of the TV. The TV had to be on a specific channel in order to display what was on the VCR. And the VCR itself had to be on a specific channel in order to display what was on the Nintendo. Get one step wrong, and you’re playing a game of Jack Vs. Shit with your friend Chad Nobody.

This is more important than you might realize. See, if my bicycle broke, Dad could fix it (and teach me how), because he grew up with a bike too. He knew how they work from experience. The design has been the same since 1885, so my bicycle problem had at one point been his bicycle problem.

But this Nintendo thing was brand-new to both of us. He knew as much about fixing that problem as I did, so after an hour, his frustration boiled over into “I have no idea: Learn how to fix it yourself. Why can’t you just go outside and poke roadkill with a stick like we used to do?” In his mind, my generation created this new thing which killed off his familiar means of entertainment. Then when a problem flopped its big ol’ dick across our chins, his reaction was to slap it away and blame me for letting it. “You wanted this, so you deal with the cock-chin.”

Now imagine the same scenario, but you’re the parent, and your teenager’s phone bricks. What the hell do you do? Both you and your kid have come to depend on cellphones, and now you’re both in the same boat — you have a $900 paperweight, and neither of you knows what to do about it. When you’re in that position, it’s extremely easy to resent the modern convenience. “If we still had a land line, this wouldn’t be an issue. But now I have to go back to the cellphone store and fuck around with that for three hours. If the warranty is expired, I’ll have to buy a new one. This is BULLSHIT!”

But at its core, you’re just outright embarrassed. You feel insignificant, and it’s all that goddamn phone’s fault. And when that kid learns to fix it on their own? That means they’re now smarter than you. They don’t need your help anymore. You either learn what they just learned, or you become obsolete.

Understand that even though we often overlook that aspect, we’re not totally unaware of it. The frustration overshadows logic when we’re in the moment, but I think a lot of us do recognize that we’re perpetuating an eons-old cycle. So if we’re self-aware, why do we keep buying into those dumbass blind panic articles? Well …

There’s A Kernel Of Truth In Most Of Those Articles

My middle son is very much like me, in that he prefers most of his communication to happen with a thick wall of internet between himself and his target. I’m not great at meatspace conversations, and I goddamn loathe talking on a phone (which is ironic, since several hours of my day are spent on editorial calls … I’m a very important person). With text, I can take the time to craft what I want to say. If I type something stupid, I can just delete it and start over. Start an actual verbal sentence with “You know the thing that nobody understands about reverse racism,” and that shit is now in the ear holes of your peers, no takebacks.

There is, however, a huge difference between me choosing that form of communication and my teenage son doing it: He’s never been forced to learn the harder skill in the first place.

What I’m about to say is going to make me sound like an old man screaming “GIT OFF-A MAH LAWN,” but bear with me. There’s a reason I’m bringing it up. When I was a kid, we had video games, but even multiplayer required your friends to be in the same room with you. Having food delivered still required you, at a bare minimum, to speak to another human on the phone. A ton of our entertainment required face-to-face interaction … even with people you hated. There’s a Chad in every group, and learning to deal with that douchebag is extremely important.

Have you ever had to deal with a really rude customer service worker? What tone and expression do you use when you get pulled over by a cop? Ever had to make a believable ass-saving excuse on the fly? How can you tell when someone is masking that they’re offended? Can you tell by reading their body language and tone of voice? All of that shit comes from practice, and you only get it by spending a nutload of time around people in the physical world. I didn’t do that by choice. I was forced to do it. The big difference I was referring to is that my son is not. And I’m not going to force him to do it, but I realize there are consequences for that.

I had to teach him that using a certain tone when making a joke — especially dark ones — could be misconstrued. That people could take him seriously if he didn’t know the very subtle cues that let them in on it. That sarcasm in text is a totally different structure than sarcasm coming out of your word hole.

So what does all of that have to do with these kinds of articles? Well, as much as I hate to admit it, a lot of them actually do have a sliver of insight. Just a slight hint of truth. Yes, millennials are a contributing factor to Applebee’s declining sales. Yes, millennials do have more trouble talking on the phone than older generations. And yes, they do in fact start “real world” life later than their parents.

When you mix those kernels of truth with a bunch of dumb outrage bait, like this horseshit article, it gets easier and easier to buy into the fucknuttery. It’s a powerful form of dishonesty that starts as an astute observation and ends as your grandmother saying, “See, I knew those video games were the devil!”

Don’t let it get to you. My grandparents’ generation said the same thing about my parents. My parents’ generation said the same thing about mine (we were called “slackers” — I now own my own house). And now my generation is keeping that shit-ball rolling right onto yours. They want to blame you for Toys R Us going bankrupt? Fine. I’ll reap the rewards of your generation allowing me to buy toys without ever leaving my chair.

That is, until millennials kill the concept of chairs.

John Cheese is a senior editor and the head of columns for Cracked. You can find him on Twitter.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Learn how the generation gap makes it impossible for us to all get along in 5 Lies Millennials And Baby Boomers Believe About Each Other, and see how teens are unfairly judged in 5 Complaints About Modern Teens (That Are Statistically BS).

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and find out why we’re lost in a sea of confusion in The Worst Advice To Get In Your 20s, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page. You won’t regret it.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/why-old-people-think-millennials-are-killing-world/

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‘Wonder Woman’ passes ‘Captain America: Civil War,’ will overtake ‘Iron Man 3’ for Top 5 spot


She came at a billionaire playboy philanthropist and did not miss.
Image: Warner bros.

Step aside, Tony Stark — just as we predicted, Wonder Woman will land in the Top 5 highest-earning superhero movies of all time at the domestic box office. And it’ll go down over the holiday weekend, passing Iron Man 3 and settling in behind The Dark Knight Rises, probably sometime mid-Monday.

Wonder Woman had earned $408.939 million in North America as of Sunday, according to estimates from comScore. That put Diana Prince short of Iron Man 3 by a paltry $75,000 — a figure Wonder Woman will easily eclipse on Labor Day, and possibly before.

There’s no way Wonder Woman can get up to No. 4 The Dark Knight Rises ($448 million), what with the home video release coming in mid-September. But a Top 5 finish is still quite a feat, considering that Wonder Woman opened at $103 million, while the four films above it all opened at $160 million or higher. 

Wonder Woman had unheard-of staying power

Translation: Wonder Woman had unheard-of staying power, dropping an average of 33% week over week through its 13-plus weeks of release. Also as we predicted, Warner Bros. staged a special engagement in IMAX to boost earnings in Week 13, taking advantage of the lack of August offerings by putting Wonder Woman in 2,210 theaters.

It isn’t official-official yet, but as of Monday, your new superhero Top 5 will look something like this:

  1. Marvel’s The Avengers: $623.3 million

  2. The Dark Knight: $534.8 million

  3. Avengers: Age of Ultron: $459 million

  4. The Dark Knight Rises: $448.1 million

  5. Wonder Woman: $409+ million

Interesting side-note: Wonder Woman‘s entry into that group shifts the balance of top 5 all-time domestic superhero films from Marvel to DC, which now has three of those spots (though Marvel still has 7 of the top 10, if you count Spidey films).

But that imbalance could be in jeopardy, too — with Gal Gadot’s take on Wonder Woman as popular as she is, Justice League right around the corner, and a Wonder Woman sequel coming before you know it, the DCEU may have finally found its stride.

Read more: http://mashable.com/2017/09/03/wonder-woman-box-office-record-top-5-superhero-movie-official/

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‘Only You And Your Darkness Know Who You Are’ Read Amber Tamblyn’s Open Letter To James Woods!

Now we know what she meant when she said this wasn’t over.

In case you missed how this feud got started, former movie star and current day conservative crank James Woods blasted the upcoming LGBT movie adaptation of Call Me By Your Name for its depiction of a romance between a 24-year-old and a 17-year-old.

After star Armie Hammer called out Woods’ hypocrisy — as he dated a 19-year-old when he was 60 — Amber Tamblyn revealed the actor had actually hit on her when she was just 16! Even after she told him!

Video: See The Call Me By Your Name Trailer

After he responded that her story was a lie, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants star decided to come guns blazing at the Diggstown actor with an open letter in the pages of Teen Vogue.

In the letter she recalls the entire story of Woods’ gross approach of her and her friend, and man he does NOT look good.

Read the entire letter (below):

Dear Mr. Woods,

What you are experiencing is called a teachable moment. It is called a gift. It is called a humbling. It is called Jesus, I come to thee. It is called an awakening. It is called a growth edge. It is called hope.

The hope being that through this experience, you can change. You can redefine the man who will come after this moment and this man who came before.

Since you’ve now called me a liar, I will now call you a silencer. I see your gaslight and now will raise you a scorched earth.

My friend Billy and I were at the Roxy on Sunset Boulevard seeing a band we loved. We decided to go to Mel’s diner on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood to get burgers after. I had just gotten my driver’s license and very specifically remember my nervousness trying to park in the diner parking lot. Upon leaving the restaurant we were stopped by you and your friend, who both seemed very nice. At one point you suggested we should all go to Las Vegas together. “It’s such a great place, have you ever been?” You tried to make it sound innocent. This is something predatory men like to do, I’ve noticed. Make it sound innocent. Just a dollop of insinuation. Just a hair of persuasion. Just a pinch of suggestion. “It will be so much fun, I promise you. Nothing has to happen, we will just have a good time together.” I told you my age, kindly and with no judgment or aggression. I told you my age because I thought you would be immediately horrified and take back your offer. You laughed and said, “Even better. We’ll have so much fun, I promise.”

Here’s the thing, Mr. Woods. At that time I was not a public persona. I had done a couple years on a soap opera as an actress, but you wouldn’t know me from Adam. I’m sure you’ve racked your brain trying to remember how you could’ve possibly hit on the actress Amber Tamblyn at a diner almost two decades ago. You think, it’s not possible, there’s no way I would’ve been so stupid as to hit on a 16-year-old known actress. But I wasn’t known then, James. I was just a girl. And I’m going to wager that there have been many girls who were just girls or women who were just women who you’ve done this to because you can get away with it.

The saddest part of this story doesn’t even concern me but concerns the universal woman’s story. The nation’s harmful narrative of disbelieving women first, above all else. Asking them to first corroborate or first give proof or first make sure we’re not misremembering or first consider the consequences of speaking out or first let men give their side or first just let your sanity come last.

So it is with hope, Mr. Woods, that I ask you to go inward now and ask yourself the hard stuff. The ominous unconscious stuff. The archetypal masculinity stuff. The power-play stuff. The perversion persuasion stuff. The secretive stuff. The id’s most cherished stuff.

Only you and your darkness know who you are. Only you and your actions know what you’ve done. That means you and only you have the power to change your behavior.

Are you and your history with women and girls a part of the problem, Mr. Woods?

Go now and look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is true. Go on, I’ll wait. But I won’t hold my breath.

[Image via Joseph Marzullo/FayesVision/WENN.]

Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2017-09-13-amber-tamblyn-james-woods-feud-open-letter

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This Week In Pop Culture (8/04/17)

8/04/2017: ESPN And NBC Are Fulfilling Our Dreams (Minus The Good Parts)

By Daniel Dockery

Despite how great the finale of a TV show may be, we inevitably want more. Deep down, we dream of a new season of Breaking Bad in which Cyborg Bryan Cranston returns to make mecha meth and get even more revenge on those kids that made fun of his son in the clothing store in Season 1. We long to see what happened to the cast of Friends, as they inevitably kicked Phoebe out of the group when her interest in a multilevel marketing scheme became too intense. And another season of Frasier that mostly deals with Kelsey Grammer enduring hilariously timely Tinder mishaps? We yearn for this.

“What’s wrong?” our spouses ask, seeing us awake in bed.

“KELSEY GRAMMER TINDER MISHAPS” we reply.

There is a note on the dresser the next day. They’re gone.

Luckily, NBC and ESPN have heard our cries, and have begun their own deliberation on how to appease us. Their consensus so far? Terribly misguided and/or outdated attempts to feed the nostalgia beast before it consumes us all. There have been talks of reviving The Office, because remember how great that was? Well, before James Spader made shit weird? They might bring it back! Except probably without any of the original cast, and while probably dealing with a different company in a different location. So not so much The Office as An Office.

The deal here is that audiences are supposedly so hungry to relive the glory days of 2009 and so unwilling to be absorbed by modern content that they’ll fight to the death over the scraps of anything that you label The Office. NBC is also mulling over 30 Rock, which also might involve a totally different 30 Rock. Except 30 Rock is not just the name of a show, but also a location. Maybe it’ll take place on different floors of the building? And it’ll most certainly involve a scene wherein Kenneth makes a guest appearance and winks at the camera to remind us that no matter how much we cling to the cliffs of our delightful past, death will always have its hands firmly gripped around our ankles.

Meanwhile, like the dad who wants to remind you that “IS NIIIIICE!!!! MY WAIIIIFFFFFEEEE!” because he just caught Borat on DVD, ESPN is launching a special day of “ESPN8: The Ocho.” Remember The Ocho, from that one joke in a Vince Vaughn comedy that was made 13 years ago? ESPN really hopes you do, and they also hope that you don’t mind that lovably doltish commentator Pepper Brooks, as played by Jason Bateman, isn’t going to make an appearance to take part in festivities that are over a decade too late. So it’s just a lot of weird sports. But it’s The Ocho, which you’ve always wanted, right? You left Dodgeball desiring it, regardless of how little it was related to the film Dodgeball, and you held that desire in your heart all the way to 2017. And now we’re getting it! We’re finally getting it, guys. We can let go.

We can be free.

8/03/2017: How ‘Death Wish’ Could Avoid All Controversy With One Change

By Ian Fortey

The new Death Wish trailer is out, and everyone loves it! Just kidding. The enthusiasm of “Yay Bruce Willis!” has been heavily tempered by “Wait, is this a movie about a guy just shooting whoever he wants in Chicago?” Needless to say, people are wrinkling their noses at the turd that this is. But the turd may have smelled more like roses if Eli Roth and crew had just changed a single element: the costume.

Midway through the trailer, AC/DC’s badass party anthem “Back In Black” starts blasting, as we’re treated to a montage of Willis’ super smooth scalp being lit up by muzzle flare. “You get a bullet, you get a bullet, every damn person in Illinois gets a bullet!” POW! BANG! ZWOK! And then it hits you: Why the hell isn’t he wearing a mask?

If you put a fun costume on Bruce Willis, this immediately goes from unsavory act of racially tinged public terror to kickass superhero movie. Isn’t this essentially The Punisher? Or Batman? Bringing right to the wrongs the police won’t (or legally can’t) address. We eat this shit up with a spoon; it’s justice unfettered by things like the justice system! To demonstrate my point, take the part of the trailer in which Bruce Willis makes a terrible dad joke right before brutally murdering some dude. Now imagine him wearing a cool skull costume, and his name is Deathwish. Now, just before he removes the carjack keeping 1,000 tons of murder steel off this hapless mechanic, the quippy joke “I’m not going to kill you, Jack is” becomes witty banter and not the ravings of a terrifying murderous lunatic! Then with a flip of his cape he could joke, “Too bad you didn’t work at a feather pillow shop,” and we’d lap that crap right up!

The question you’re forced to ask when you realize Bruce Wayne … I mean, Bruce Willis … isn’t a superhero here is “How cool is it to let any random old man start shooting whoever he thinks needs to be shot?” In real life, this is why we don’t tolerate vigilantes. That shit is scary as hell. Imagine Bruce Wayne going away to Ninja Academy and coming home and then, instead of dressing up as a bat, he just has Alfred drive him to the poor part of town where, in a very posh $6,000 suit, he beats the ever-loving shit out of a couple of meth heads. Not a superhero; just a rich man beating up the downtrodden because he feels like there isn’t enough justice in the world.

You need that cartoony element. You need a dude in spandex dancing to “Back In Black,” or the Batmobile, or Bruce Willis giggling like your bloodthirsty uncle to his therapist about how he’s getting out and meeting new people, because the reality of letting hyped-up old dudes with god complexes shoot whoever the hell they want is objectively terrible.

8/02/2017: When JAY-Z And Beyonce Play Fantasy Sports, It’s For Real

By Luis Prada

If the rumors are true, Beyonce wants to buy the Houston Rockets basketball team, which makes sense for a couple of reasons. One, she’s from Houston, and two, buying NBA teams is a cheat code rich people use to get richer — something she already knows, since her husband, JAY-Z, already did exactly that when he bought a stake in his hometown team, the Brooklyn Nets. They were then (and still are) the worst team in the NBA, but he later sold them for the second-highest price of any team sale in the history of the sport after a conflict of interest arose with his ownership of a sports talent agency.

This sets up a fascinating opportunity for Beyonce and JAY-Z. Where some best friends or couples can play NBA 2K17 to build and manage a team, create players, and generally have a ball pretending they have any kind of sway over the fate of an entire professional sports franchise and its league at large, these two are so rich that they can do it in real life. Like, that’s an option that’s not only open to them, but also something they’re actively looking into doing.

This can only mean one thing: With their vast financial resources and cultural influence, Beyonce and JAY-Z will soon launch an NBA eugenics lab so they can make a real-life version of the “Create A Player” feature in the NBA2k series. By defying God and all that is sacred, Beyonce and JAY-Z will grow an army of visually horrifying freaks made to look like pro wrestlers, the Monstars from Space Jam, and themselves, with stats that no womb-incubated human will ever match.

May God have mercy on basketball.

8/01/2017: Suicide Squad Or Jungle Cruise? How About Just Giving Up?

By Lydia Bugg

Suicide Squad has lost what was reportedly its top choice for director, Jaume Collet-Serra. Yes, that Jaume Collet-Serra, the auteur who brought us such cinematic classics as Orphan and The Shallows. This must have been such a difficult decision for him.

On one hand, Suicide Squad was widely hated, but on the other hand, the concept of Disney movies based on a ride has produced such classics as The Haunted Mansion and The Country Bears. How is an in-demand director to choose? Flipping a coin made out of pure asbestos? Did someone have his family locked away, refusing to return them unless he picked between directing Suicide Squad 2 or a Jungle Cruise movie? Was he given two glasses of wine, one full of poison, the other also full of poison but paired with the opportunity to work with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (who is expected to star in Jungle Cruise)?

If I were Jaume Collet-Serra, I would look at the writers who are currently working on the scripts for each film. I may be biased, but I think writers are important. Suicide Squad 2 is being penned by the genius who wrote Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Jungle Cruise “went through several drafts by several writers,” which is always a good sign.

Suicide Squad 2 will be pulling from some solid source material in the first film, which people called “bad.” According to The Hollywood Reporter, “Squad 2 is currently a void in need of filling; it has characters, but no direction or plot.” I know how alarmingly existential “a void in need of filling” may sound, but hey, maybe they’ll fill it with Jared Leto being wacky.

The Jungle Cruise ride itself is filled with conflict. For those of you who’ve never been to Disney World to experience this whirlwind, SPOILER ALERT, the plot of the ride is that you’re on a boat cruising through the jungle. Will you see exotic animals or won’t you? That’s the main conflict. Of course, you always do see the animals, because if you didn’t, it wouldn’t be much of a ride. It would be more like a nautical version of waiting in line for a ride. The movie will surely bring all that tension to the table PLUS The Rock in form-fitting khaki shorts.

I know it may seem like I’m ragging on Jaume Collet-Serra, but honestly, I feel a little bit sorry for him. How depressing do you think that coin toss was for him? It’s sad that this is what Hollywood has come to. Welcome to 2017, where the choice isn’t between making a small indie script critic’s love or a big-budget summer blockbuster that audiences adore; it’s Suicide Squad 2 or Jungle Cruise. Turd soup or turd salad, it doesn’t matter what you choose — you’re leaving with a turd in your belly.

7/31/2017: Niantic Sucks Butt

By Ian Fortey

Hey kids, have you played Pokemon Go? Chances are you have because, according to statistics, Pokemon Go has 65 million active monthly users, which is insane and somehow probably half as many as the number of people who can’t play it properly because Niantic, the company behind the game, is committed on every conceivable level, to buttfucking this game mercilessly.

Niantic is being sued for putting on a failed Pokemon Go Jamboree in Chicago that people flew in from as far away as Japan to attend. Turns out if no one can actually access the game thanks to failed networks, or get the in-game swag they were promised, or do anything other than stand around with a Pokefinger in their Pokeass, it’s not a huge load of fun for most. Imagine travelling to Disneyworld and when you get there, a dude in a Mickey suit stands in an empty lot explaining that all the attractions had to be sent out for repairs.

Niantic tried to blame Verizon for the connectivity issues, but not a lot of people are buying it thanks to Niantic’s proud, year-long tradition of stumbling ass backward through the management of this game. Despite making a literal billion dollars off of Pokemon Go, everything that could go wrong with it has gone wrong and continues to go wrong because it’s entirely possible Niantic developed this game thanks to making a wish on a cursed monkey’s paw and the ensuing clusterfuck is their ironic punishment.

From its very launch, Pokemon Go has been a shit show. Slow or completely stalled downloads, failed logins, server overload, the total inability to even download the game and, in some case, a lack of Pokemon. How the fuck do you make a Pokemon game and not include the Pokemon? You know what Pokemon Go without Pokemon is? It’s walking through town with your head down, running into shit for no reason.

Every patch and every update Niantic has rolled out has continued to drill the cruel fist of bumblefuckery deep into Pikachu’s bowels. Server problems are par for the course when it’s not just crashing your phone or sucking your battery dry like it was a milkshake on a balmy day. Four out of five players have stopped playing Pokemon Go yet it’s still a gigantic success.

Imagine what this game would be like with a competent company at the helm. If the Pokemon company had the wherewithal to let someone else take over who could provide support and bug fixes that work, a company that could roll out one thing, just any damn thing, without it failing miserably after even a tiny bit of planning to make sure it worked right the first time. It’d be a license to print money. People want to play this game – they love the idea of it and it’s clearly proven itself to be brilliant. Like a bar offering $1 shots served from glasses that had a hobo tap each one with the tip of his penis, Niantic has a great product wrapped in terrible service and no clue why it’s not working out.

Niantic needs to Pokemon Go fuck themselves and the powers that be can either outsource game management or straight up sell the product to someone with the skills and ability to make the game work. This is already the biggest game ever, why not see what could happen if you knew what the hell you were doing with it?

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/this-week-in-pop-culture-80417/

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Black Widow and Elektra’s stunt doubles filmed the ultimate Marvel fight scene

BTW

Marvel stunt performers are the unsung heroes of the franchise, filming and often choreographing the fighting styles for your favorite superheroes. Marvel’s Netflix shows are especially highly praised for their hand-to-hand combat scenes, which invites an obvious question: How would an Avengers A-lister fare against one of the street-level Defenders characters?

Stunt performers Lauren Mary Kim and Amy Johnston are here to answer that question. Kim doubled for Elektra in Daredevil while Johnston performed as Black Widow‘s stunt double in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, so they know exactly how each character fights. They got together for an awesome Black Widow/Elektra showdown, filmed and posted on Kim’s Instagram.

You can catch Kim in action during The Defenders, which arrives on Netflix this Friday. It’s not exactly a spoiler to say that Elektra returns from the dead, and her fight scenes are among the best in the show.

H/T io9

Read more: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/black-widow-elektra-stunt-fight/

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16 Things We Forget To Thank Our Moms For

1. All the times she had to double as best friend/counselor/therapist/costume designer/hair stylist/coach/all-around-solver-of-every-problem-ever. I remain unconvinced that moms aren’t actually superheroes in disguise.

2. Forgiving us when we forget to call.

3. Listening to all our pointless dramas when we do remember.

4. Being the kind of person that we actually do want to become because as we all know, it’s inevitable.

5. Having the incredible prowess only a mother whose babes have been scorned could mama bear protects her cubs, sometimes excessively, but we love it, let’s be honest.

6. All those times we yelled “MOOOOMMM!!” through the house to find out where our white shirt was or what time so-and-so was getting home and all the other questions we just couldn’t go to Dad for.

7. All the things she reluctantly bought us at the cash register of any given store, all the clothes and things we didn’t really need (but insisted we did). Growing up and understanding the value of a dollar really makes you reconsider just how much moms sacrifice.

8. For all the home cooked meals or pizzas we didn’t have to pay for ourselves. Equally phenomenal. Equally missed.

9. Putting up with our middle school phase.

10. For giving us our siblings, whom we simultaneously once wished to sell and now are best friends with.

11. And oh yeah, for that whole “giving birth to us” thing.

12. For being our first, and at some points, only cheerleaders, who were and are proud of every little thing we do.

13. All the time she spent picking us up from practices; bending over backwards to make sure we had new cleats and costumes; and were at every game, rehearsal, and play date we planned.

14. Doing her best, even when things were most difficult in the family. Moms have this incredible magic sparkle glue that keeps it all together when it would otherwise fall apart.

15. Dealing with Dad.

16. Being the boss woman of the house (and of our lives). And for being living proof that there truly are people who can honestly just do it all.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kate-bailey/2014/02/16-things-we-forget-to-thank-our-moms-for/